Rose 43, asked her mother “why have I not been able to find that great love like you and dad had?”. Rose’s mother told her “the men back in my time understood love to be a necessity not a desire that comes and goes. Her mother and father had been married for 52 years before her father died of lung cancer. When I met Rose I could see this was a woman who had been raised by two strong and loving people. They had helped to mold Rose into an independent, loving young woman, with a great spiritual connection to God.
Rose now wanted to know why? Why was she still alone, the answer to that question seems complex but it isn’t at all. Let’s look at Rose’s life, born of strong, successful, spiritually grounded parents, that instilled the knowledge of being happy in her life. Quite naturally she would be searching for that same joy she witnessed as a child. Rose stated that she had dated numerous of men and they were either shallow or so deep they were lost in themselves. Rose was now tired of trying at least verbally she was tired of trying.
We discussed her feelings on having a lifelong mate, I discovered Rose was still longing deep in the recesses of her heart for that connection. Many of us go through this denial factor when we have tried it seems too hard, too long. The bad dates that left Rose in tears because for example one guy we shall call him a guy because he doesn’t deserve to be called a man to me, thought he could make an inappropriate pass at Rose because he paid for her 35.00 meal, wow!
Rose admitted that she had made some mistakes when looking for a man based on outward appearances, finances or if he was a father already or not than his relationship with God. She often felt she may have become intimate too fast without getting to know the real them. The times they wanted out and she wouldn’t help to give them or herself that way out. I told Rose a bit of sound advice and I based the end and the beginning of that advice in God’s word.
When dealing with life I have learned that the best way to deal is by putting God in it first and last! He knows and understands our thought process, our hearts, whether it be right or wrong, He understands. I said to Rose “by God’s great design we understand that man and woman were meant to be together, we also understand that in marriage they were meant to be joined till the death. In today’s time mankind has fallen even shorter of the great design, making it harder for those whom wish to have a bond in a relationship as husband and wife very hard. Though this is a factor in our society God has not made only you to desire and want this in your life that means there is a man like you somewhere wanting the same.
These words… I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18 I shared this with Rose because I wanted her to study God’s word more and see that His word had deeper meaning that ran like veins in the body for more than one purpose and place, like her life. This passage dealt with Jesus telling the disciples of the Comforter that of which is the Holy Spirit that would come after He had descended unto the Father to comfort those that knew Him. To get the beginning of His promise verses 16-21 should be read. I told Rose that if she started with these words they would hold her steady and truly she wouldn’t be alone, if she meditated on the true meaning of these words.
Out of all of Rose’s gifts given by her parents the greatest gift was her connection with God that she took and held on to once presented to her. I told Rose if she held on to God’s unchanging hand He would lead Her to where she needed to be in life, she asked “how is it that some people who want to be married and in love die alone in that way? I said” there are many reasons but know this if they put God first and loved Him with all their heart they died with peace and understanding that they were exactly where they needed to be. The decisions that we make play a vital role for also in our ending for we do have free will! Rose and I departed with a deeper understanding of the meaning “lonely” and why we are even in an intimate way never lonely, when we truly understand what God is trying to tell us and focus on the decisions that we have also made. Remember that when we struggle with those empty feelings of loneliness that only the love of Jesus can fulfill it first and last!
I wish to close out with these words of encouragement to all of us whom have struggled with the word “lonely”. We must seek God before seeking a mate and if it be His and your will the mate will come because remember your will needs to work with His, the best way for me is that I ask God “let Your will become my will“.
The Lord is with you, while you be with Him; and if you seek Him, He will be found of you; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you. 2 Chronicles 15:2. The world has its statistics on how many of us are lonely truly not one of us should be content in the word lonely but in Jesus, so that loneliness may flee from us! Feeling lonely for long periods of time can lead to depression, wrong actions taken to alleviate that feeling and we can become bitter and disconnected in our loneliness. I tell you that is not the great design from God for you to be this way, make no mistake He has a desire for you to be content but first in Him so that you may be able to accept your purpose in this life and not what you think it is to be. The word of God also teaches us to…
Trust in thy Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
I hope that you have found something that has spoken to you from God’s word. By hearing Rose’s story of loneliness I hope you have found a connection and a beginning to take away the loneliness in this area of your life; or help someone else you may know of dealing with this. If you have any questions on this topic or would like for me to talk about a topic you may have, please email me at email@example.com
This has been your edition of The Sunday Morning Paper!